Dealing With Parents' Divorce When You're a Young Adult
Divorce is insanely common now a days, almost half of all marriages end in divorce for one reason for another. I remember growing up I only knew one person who had divorced parents and not ever wanting to experience that myself. Now almost half the people I know have dealt with divorce including myself.
My parents have been divorced for two years, separated for three years, and divorce was coming for many years prior to that. I still remember when I was in the eighth grade begging for my mom not to leave him. Which was not fair by any means on my part. But she did stick with him until his drinking got so bad no one could stand it anymore so we left. We did end up siding with our mom during the divorce, as our dad basically didn't care about us anymore. But as we had been seeing the divorce coming for years, we weren't surprised or angry about it.
Tips on Dealing with Divorce
- Don't take sides. Yes, I took sides but that was mainly because I had been abandoned by my dad due to his drinking. But my mom never forced me to pick her side. If your parent asks you to do this, tell them you won't as that could damage your relationship with the other parent.
- Work it out. Holidays can be a mess and feeling like you have to choose a side, it's not something that just happens to kids. As an adult, you still have to deal with this. Only this time your parents aren't deciding it for you. Try to keep the holidays even, or go to one parent for part of the day then the other for the other half.
- Talk to them about the future. If you're concerned about anything while going through the divorce, just let them know. They're still your parents even if they aren't together anymore.
- Live your life. Don't put your life on hold just because of the split. It may be very tempting or you feel like you have to console your parents. As that's just going to make you focus more on the change. Doing things you typically do like work or school or activities will help you cope. It will keep you grounded so you can focus on your goals and plans.
- Remember you are not alone and there are others who can help support you if you need it during this time of change.
Have you ever dealt with divorce? What are your tips on dealing with it?