Yeah, I don’t know how else to put it. And though I could’ve done this with one of my Let’s Talk About segments, this just felt right. I have a terrible relationship with money and it’s something I’ve been working on fixing. It’s something I’ve never been great at. And though I don’t want to pin part of this on my bipolar disorder, as it’s a characteristic of hypo-manic behavior and I don’t know if it’s due to that or not.
Some of it stems from seeing new makeup releases and then suddenly I’ve bought like five to ten new makeup items, trying to justify it to myself that I’m going to review it so that will make it worth it. And I don’t make money from my blog, so it’s not like it makes up for it at all! And this thought process along with “oh this will help you get through your depression phase” or whatever is going on that day, has just lead me to being super in debt. With things that I seriously don’t need but want. It was like any time a store clerk offered a credit card, I couldn’t say no then I had five credit cards that are all got maxed. I’ve managed to pay off one of them but still working on getting them paid off.
And after this latest spending spree (that happened on Sunday the same week this is going up), I’m putting myself on a freeze… right when all of the holiday makeup is being released. I don’t need it but I’m having a mini panic that I’m going to miss out. Especially on the Jeffree Star Cosmetics holiday collection… and I am so tempted to say I’ll cave and get it. But I need to seriously not get anything else and just spend all of that money I would spend on the new stuff on paying off that debt. Which I especially need to do before I move. It’s the whole reason I haven’t left the Harry Potter closet. I could but I’m forcing myself to stay until it’s all gone. My mom is totally fine with that as well since I owe her money too and she wants that paid off before I leave.
Anyways enough of a confession. What’s something you need to get better at or address in your life? Or if you have a terrible relationship with money and just want spend your money the second you get it, how do you restrain yourself? I always pay my bills first, so it’s not like I’m skipping bills but still. It’s bad and I need to stop!
Love ya,
Mae Polzine
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