Where I’ve Been Lately | Life Update June 2019

I haven’t done a life update in quite some time, but considering I’ve been insanely busy to a point where I haven’t been active on social media since April, I thought I might as well do one. Especially considering I might not be back to how things used to be until August. So this life update is probably going to be insanely short, as everything boils down to three things: work, moving, and mental health.


Work has been crazy. I mentioned months ago that there was a major project happening that’s insanely stressful. Without getting into too many details, I work for a cloud hosting provider as a senior technicial lead and we’re moving from a datacenter in Minneapolis to Microsoft Azure (cloud data center) with some going to Chicago (physical data center). As we’re slightly low on staff at the same time, I’m one of two engineers that’s doing the majority of the work. Meaning I just don’t have the time nor energy to focus on social media (Instagram, YouTube, Blog, etc.). On top of this for work, I’m trying to get certified with Microsoft for Azure. Though I was vastly underprepared the first go around, but I do have to get certified so I’m studying like crazy for that. August is the official end of the project, so at that point I should be back online as I used to be.


I’m finally moving, I already did an entire post on it called The Apartment Diaries: My Plans For The New Place. But quick version, I’ve allowed to move for the last year or so but couldn’t do to finical reasons after a terrible roommate situation that putting me severely in debt. Granted it also didn’t help I was having a spending problem at the time as a result of hypo manic phases of my bipolar disorder, but I’ve been working my hardest to ensure my spending got under control, saving up, and getting my credit back in the green. Which I managed to do so I’m moving in a little over two weeks. Super excited as I’ve been living in a room that’s about six feet by six feet, which is just enough for my full size bed, a desk, and literally nothing else. There is no walking room or space to change clothes in that room. Yes I could’ve thrown my desk into the storage unit for two feet of space but I needed somewhere for my computer. Anyways, I can’t wait to move though I don’t know how I’m going to cope (as my mom puts it) with all the additional space.


Stress from work has not been helping my bipolar disorder nor anxiety. If anything it’s pushed it over the ledge to where I’ve been having panic attacks rather frequently. Which has not been fun to deal with. Plus, summer is always my worst months when it comes to my mental health. You would think the increase in sunlight would make things better but if anything, it makes it worse for me.

Plus, I’ve been struggling with my appetite as it’s just left the building. Granted it’s helped me lose weight which I did want to do, but this is not a healthy way of going about it and I know that. But at the same time, I’m full after a few bites of food and feel sick to my stomach if I eat anymore than that. An example, a order of tacos at Chipolata you get three of them with little toppings, I can get through one and a half tacos before I feel like I’m stuffed. Before I could all three plus chips and guac. without feeling sick to my stomach. Or I can barely finish a six inch sandwich at Subway when I used to be able to eat a footlong. I love food, but my stomach has a very different opinion than me on the topic. This is all just a side effect of my mental health and I know that, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.

But I’m working on it. That’s the important thing.


Love ya,

Mae Polzine

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