I don’t know what it is about this month or the last few weeks to be honest, but my mental state has been all over the place. Including just running out of almost all of my creative juices, hence the lack of posts lately. Having Bipolar Disorder this does happen, but I swear my phases have been getting worse every time I dip into one. And this last depressive episode has been the worst one I’ve had in years. So I thought I’d have a conversation about it and how I’m trying to pick myself up or cope with this lately episode.

Remember the Bare Minimum is Okay.

Some days with depression or bipolar disorder, just managing to handle the bare minimum is all we can do. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re able to do anything even the smallest things is a milestone worth celebrating. There are some things that are non-negotiable and have to be done. And lately these are the only thing I’m able to handle in this latest episode and I’m trying to remind myself that it’s ok just to do the things that are a must instead of everything under the sun:

• Feed the dogs in the morning.
• Go to work and do the best I can with solving problems, attending meetings, and handling projects.
• Take Pixie and Winnie out for a walk after work.
• Keeping up my personal hygiene (brushing teeth and washing hair every few days).

These are just the things I have energy for, and anything else is just extra if I can manage it. Such as blogging or filming videos, I just don’t have the energy for it especially since these are just hobbies for me at the moment. And some people are #BossBabes that can handle anything and everything but at the moment that’s not me. Hopefully this episode ends soon, but right now I’m stuck in this state of mind.

Have Yourself a Good Cry.

This is something that’s hard for me. I’m not a huge crier when it comes to real life things. No idea why, but it’s true. And I’m not a massive fan of that all of the time since crying helps release all that bottle up emotions and stress. So to help me with that, I will put on Vampire Diaries or a chick flick since those help me get a good cry session in. Or listen to “depressing,” “sad”, or “emo” music not that it makes me cry but helps make me feel so much more calm. Which helps me as well during these down periods.

Taking Time For Myself

Here are just a few other things I’ve been doing to lift my mood at the end of a long day at work:

• Watching gaming series on YouTube that I haven’t seen before from the beginning. Including the entire series of Detroit Become Human with Jacksepticeye and Sims 4 Dreamhouse/In the City/Broken Dreams/In the Suburbs with Clare Siobhan.
• Writing a fun novel for myself (will not be sharing nor publishing, it’s just a fun thing for me to do).
• Interacting with people on Instagram including responding to Instagram stories and posting more on there. Still trying to get more out of my comfort zone with this one but it feels nice to talk with others.
• Looking at Halloween Pins on Pinterest. Halloween is my all time favorite holiday so I’m having a lot of fun just looking at all of the decoration inspiration granted I won’t be able to do any of it. Still it’s fun to look at.
• Playing video games but not record, I haven’t played a single video game just for myself in months. I can’t remember the last time I played a game that wasn’t for Twitch or YouTube, and it’s quite nice. I’m not going to stop but I’ve been enjoying just taking some time for myself to play games alone.

How have you guys been doing or feeling lately? Or any tips for getting through a depressive episode. I would love to hear from ya in the comments.

Love ya,

Mae Polzine

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