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I am terrible when it comes to worrying or apologizing for things that honestly I shouldn’t need to. And I’m not talking about saying “sorry” when I run into inanimate objects or bump into people, because I do those things. I’m referring to apologizing or worrying about things that I don’t really have control over. They are just who I am so why obsess over it any longer. And part of my realization of this is from listening to this song by Set it Off called “Why Worry” maybe one too many times while I’m working. So these are the things I’ve decided I’m going to either stop worrying about or apologizing for…
Not Having Many Friends
Back in high school and college, I thought having a lot of friends was something you were supposed to have. And if you didn’t have a lot of girl friends or friends in general then there was something wrong with you. I had a big group of friends during high school and was part of a sorority in college. So when I left school, I realized I didn’t actually have that many close friends. I can count all my best friends on one hand, and I’m not sorry about that. Those few are my best friends that I can go to for literally anything no matter how long we’ve gone not talking for the account that we’re all super busy with work, school, etc. You don’t need to have a ton of friends to be happy in life. We all need different amount of friendships and I’m totally happy with the ones that I have.
My Mental Illness
This is something I used to either always apologize for or worry about how others would think of me because of it. Or even wary of talking about it online. But it’s just part of me that I can’t control, I’m Bipolar because of a chemical imbalance in my mind. And there’s nothing shameful or wrong about that. It’s just something that I deal with. Plus I loved when I read others who also have dealt with Bipolar Disorder online as it makes me feel less alone in this. So why hide my other mental disorder, if it could be helpful to even just one person? Speaking of mental disorders, you should never downplay the state of someone’s mind as you don’t know what they are going through. There is no way from the outside to know what’s going on inside of someone’s mind. It’s always so painful to see other people with their own mental health struggles mock other people’s just because it might not look like what they’re dealing with.
I am categorizing the two of these together as personally I see these going hand in hand. Being introverted or shy growing up was unheard of. People looked at you very differently if you didn’t want to hang around a lot of people or wanted to go off on your own. And sometimes I felt ashamed when I didn’t want to go out partying with my friends, because all I wanted to do was recharge by playing video games or scrolling through Tumblr. I also loved it whenever they would canceled the plans because then I didn’t have to go out. It wasn’t until college that I learned that some people are just introverted and recharge by being alone. And the shyness just comes in, because I’m super shy about meeting new people so I hated going out as well as I didn’t want to be looked at weird when I didn’t really want to make conversation with everyone that I ran into. It’s totally ok to be either or both, that’s just how you thrive.
Changing my Diet
A while ago I told everyone that I was going to be a pescotarian (only meat that I can have is seafood), but I honestly go back and forth from following this to the complete opposite. I try really hard to only eat seafood if I want meat, but sometimes I just can’t help it and end up having hamburgers or chicken. And I was worrying so much about what people would think if I changed my mind, but I enjoy meat. I just feel horrible about the animals that had to die to make that food. But most veggie alternatives, I can’t stand so finding things to eat that I enjoy that follow this diet is extremely hard for me. So I’ve decided I’m going to stop following any specific diet that why I don’t have to struggle just to meet my daily nutrition. And I’m going to stop apologizing or worrying about this, because a girl needs to eat.
What are the things that you’ve stopped saying sorry for? Or worrying about?